The Best Garbage Ever!

No lie. This baby was lying at the curb down the block from my house today. If you are a regular reader, you know I have an affection for things left at the curb. I am not sure if my neighborhood is simply ripe with refuse, or if all neighborhoods are like this but people just don’t notice. Or they notice but don’t document. My garbage posting has gotten to a point where I am thinking of starting a garbage blog. Thoughts?

So this item was found outside a house that has new residents. The previous homeowners predate my family and we have been here 24 years (how can that be, this was my starter house). I am thinking that I am falling in love with these new neighbors before I have even met them.

If you are having trouble making out what this is, it would be a very large metal sculpture of a giraffe; one that looks as if it was hit by a car. This sucker was huge. I would say certainly the size of an actual baby giraffe. Here is a shot of just the face. I simply love the eyelash detail.

So, my dear readers, I put this question out to you, was this an item that the new owners found in the house, or was this something they moved with and then decided they no longer wanted? Or perhaps they had all intentions of using it as a lawn ornament but the movers destroyed it. It’s been a while since we took a poll, so let’s put it out there. All you lurkers who don’t like to comment, go ahead and vote, it’s anonymous.

Is it possible to throw out a garbage can?

If you are a regular reader you know my unhealthy obsession fascination with other people’s garbage. I am not sure if it is my neighborhood or the fact that I walk every morning before the garbage is picked up, but I have found some of the most amazing things sitting by the curb. I need to do a garbage round-up post soon so you can see what I mean.

Today I came across this gem. Monday is not a garbage day in my neighborhood. The last pick-up was Saturday. Which means that these people have left this here in hopes that tomorrow’s collection day will bring them some luck. Is it an undocumented phenomenon that it is literally impossible to throw out a garbage can? Notice the contents are gone but the can remains; even with a clearly marked note on the can. Are they not allowed to take the can or is it a big FU for not tipping at the holidays?

I have tried to do this before. It is not easy to get these guys to take the can. And this one seems to be in great shape, other than being sans lid which I am guessing is what is rendering it useless in the land of cats and raccoons.

I suggest first making a more elaborate sign, maybe one with some humor to catch their attention. Or maybe standing outside when the truck comes and begging. Or perhaps taping a little envelope to the signage with some incentive in it and a clearly marked dollar sign.

Any other suggestions?

Land Shark on Mott

Just another sunny afternoon walking through Soho. Hey, even a land shark needs to shop once in awhile. And this one was trendy at that… a Calypso bag! Gotta love a shark with a big budget. I am sorry I did not catch the full twitter handle on his shirt.

I love NY indeed!

I consider it a gift of the universe when I walk out of a parking garage, rushing between meetings and I come across something like this. This happens to other people, right?

I am pretty sure I heard him muttering under his breath ‘Plumber, ma’am’, but I could be mistaken.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse?

No, I did not set this picture up. What kind of pervert do you take me for? This gift from the MFTA gods just happened to be in a little store window in Williamsburgh as we were walking from drinks to dinner the other night. I love the Mac Mini box he is sitting on.

For those who are not familiar with Pee Wee Herman, he had a kids’ show from ’86-’91 called Pee Wee’s Playhouse  that was a big hit. That crossed over into my early child-bearing years but for some reason I remember us watching this before we had kids. He had sort of a cult following of 20-somethings that were simply amused by his humor.

His other claim to fame had to do with a popcorn container with a hole in it at the movies.

Unfortunate.

Whoever set-up the gnome in the crotch window display surely remembered that scandal.

And to think, I almost passed right by this one!

oops

I know, my neighbors –  hands down –  have the best garbage on the planet.

I love this sentiment. And the logo is just perfect. To find out more about (oops) wine you can read about it here.

I took this picture more for the sheer joy of seeing (oops) in the garbage. Like someone threw this out by mistake.

Munchies

This one was sent to me from my friend Doreen. Dor and I have been known to get into a bit of trouble together. We met in college and traveled cross country together after graduation. Do the math on that one.

This photo presented itself to her as a gift from the universe. How else would one explain that being with the enormous ass and the minuscule head on the left side of the shot. Actually, she said she had stopped to take the picture and he just walked into the frame. Ahhhh… the blog gods were working overtime that day! Hey this place has beer, wine, liquor, lottery and ATM… seriously what more do you need. Maybe a little Slim Jim or a Twinkie and I am sure they have those too.

Places like this should be declared landmarks so their signage is preserved. I cannot imagine a world without them.

Thanks Dor.

I Take a Sheet

This is a banner week for people sending me things. This one comes from Natasha.

What a campaign! If you have ever eaten dinner over you know there is an inordinate amount of discussion surrounding…

taking a sheet. You could say we are a little preoccupied with it (or is that just me?)

I can’t imagine how they ever got the client to go for this campaign, but honestly I think it is hysterical and will surely get attention for this ridiculous product; Energy sheets that melt in your mouth like those breath strips with ‘vitamins’ and… caffeine, to help you with endurance when you are doing sports.

You know, for those who don’t give a sheet about their bodies (sorry, cheap shot).

BTW, their website is a gas. (I know I have a million of these)

A Good Day

A good day stars with good garbage.

I know, maybe not every one feels this way. But if you walked early in the AM you might agree with me. The time is so serene. Nothing has quite happened yet that could ruin a day. It is early morn and you are walking down the street with that special brand of stillness only the beginning of the day can bring. The air is fresh, the sky is just waking up, the birds are singing. And then, right there in front of you, on the curb…

the ultimate display of refuse.

Today did not disappoint. The half mannequin would have been enough. But the way that clementine crate was hanging off of her? That? That was true art.

Would it amuse you to know that as I was crouching on his lawn to take this shot, tethered to the new puppy, the owner of this house pulled into his driveway?

Thought so.

The key to these situations is to never turn around and have eye contact.

 

Best License Plate Ever

It has finally happened. Someone has sent me the absolute best license plate ever. And who better to do it than a friend from elementary school. The idea of her running through a parking lot to get this shot while her son looked on like she was crazy does my heart good. It makes me happy to know my kids are not the only ones who think their mother is nuts.

What do you think would be the chance that I could track this person down and they would transfer these plates to me?

You know, so Gary can put them on his car.

The MILF Hotel

Yes, all you babes with children out there, I am happy to announce that now NYC has a hotel dedicated especially to you: The Milf Plaza. What better recognition for all the women who have worked hard to stay in shape and look great after having kids than to dedicated a landmark hotel to them.

Some of you may be saying to yourselves, ‘Hey, I am a New Yorker, you can’t fool me, that is the Milford Plaza with the o-r-d retouched out.’ (sounds sort of like a Monty Python routine… fish license, anyone). I will say to you all, ‘No, no, no; this baby is for real’. We can thank Mark R. for posting this on facebook and Cathy S. (his lovely wife, and according to him the ‘highest authority’) for validating its authenticity.

When you see stuff like this you can’t help but think that someone at that hotel was having some fun with this. Or could it simply be serendipity that those letters all went out at the same time for the sheer purpose of entertaining the likes of people like my friends and I.

Now I can’t stop singing The Lullaby of Broadway (this commercial ran constantly back in the 90s – check out the talented staff and the price!)