Packaging. It can be so deceiving. At first glance the red and white box simply seemed to be the inhaler I had just picked up from the pharmacy, so it went in the ‘to pack’ pile for my son’s semester abroad.
Ok, so it was the dog’s ear drops instead. Hey, she never let’s me get near her with them, anyway. Someone might as well use them.
I know, a wheezing American in Spain would probably not have seen the humor in that.
Mom fail or honest mistake?
I would like to start this post by assuring you that no animals were harmed just for a laugh.
We spent the afternoon on The High Line today. It was a glorious afternoon and there was a
claustrophobic mass of humanity nice crowd out there enjoying the day with us. The thing about The High Line is that it was built after many of the apartments that are adjacent to it. I would imagine those who previously had lovely private terraces and windows facing what was an abandoned raised train track are now less than thrilled to have throngs of people strolling past their windows every day. I would also imagine that the window treatment biz picked up in this neighborhood after the completion of this extraordinary public gem.
I digress. One of these very not-so-private apartments facing the walkway had this cat wedged in between the couch and the window. At first a crowd started to gather and point in horror that this poor animal had been neglected and was now in its final resting place for all to see.
Until the little sucker moved. It sort of stretched and repositioned itself and settled back into its big snooze under glass.
This confirms my theory that cats are more than a little messed up in the head.
My favorite conversation:
Man: It’s not real.
Woman: Sure it is, didn’t you just see it move?!
Man: That doesn’t prove it’s real.
Me: (to myself of course) IDIOT!
This sign hangs in the waiting room of my Vet’s office. (the wispy stuff is halloween related).
I love these people. We have been through a lot together in the past 13 years, both with my first dog and now my new one. They are kind, compassionate, loving people who have to put up with people and their pet craziness all day long. Which I would imagine is nothing compared to the irresponsible parenting that comes along with the territory.
I love this solution. Clear, to the point and with humor.
Hey, I wonder if there will be a band of wired kids and puppies running around in town this month.
Filed under humor, Iko, mel, pets
We have been away a lot this month, and Miss Iko has been a good sport about being in the care of others. But on the day after we return I always try to spend the day with her. Working at home makes that pretty easy.
Today I found myself having to make a last minute trip in the car and was going to be gone for a couple of hours. I just could not bear that little face as I was leaving the house, so…
I invited her for the ride.
The thing is, this puppy is far from a good car dog. Mel? She was the queen of the car ride. She sat in the back when asked and would never consider jumping out the window. Hell, she would sit in the convertible with the top down and never think of bolting. Iko? Not so much.
I know it is not good to compare dogs, and they all have their roles in your life. So I am going to deem Iko my co-pilot. I am sure it is a job she will take very seriously as she gets older. This shot pretty much illustrates her dedication.
As for the title of this post, it was inspired by this book, that I highly recommend.
If you have ever owned Labrador Retriever puppy you already started laughing at the title of this post. My last lab was a chewer as a pup as well, but it was so long ago my memory has faded. I am pretty sure that Iko is way worse. To give you an idea, here is a list of what she has chewed or eaten in the past few weeks:
- A leather flip flop (see above, she did quite a nice job on this one)
- 2 pairs of vintage prescription sunglasses and a nice bite out of the lens of a brand new pair (yes, I know, stop leaving them on the counter)
- 2 plastic bins that we kept her toys in (BTW,red plastic comes out exactly how it went in)
- A few indestructible dog toys from manufacturers with claims that they cannot be destroyed (they have not met
- A couple of mouthfuls of Biotone (this is a garden fertilizer and required an emergency trip to the vet with the bag and a call to poison control. They told us it is not toxic and she will just violently projectile vomit… um, that is how we knew she ate it, but thanks.)
- A ballpoint pen (leaving a blue birthmark on the side of her face)
- A client’s check (perhaps she ate the pen to forge my signature on the check)
- Countless sticks, flowers and terra cotta pots (she loves the garden)
Shall I go on? I guess you get the picture. Hey anyone want to dogsit this weekend?
Filed under humor, Iko, pets
Ok, maybe that won’t be the most popular post title for search. Or then again, maybe it will.
Bottom line, sometimes puppies DO suck. Like when you get up with them at 6AM, let them out, feed them and that is STILL not enough. They whine like a little baby when you go back to bed because it is – ahem… friggin SATURDAY! – and then when you ignore them they figure out how to ‘f’ you real bad.
That’s right, for those who know me, the prescription sunglasses that I have owned for at least 8 years are no longer. And yes, that IS a Gucci logo on there. Again, if you know me I do not do the designer thing, but I always loved these glasses and made an exception.
I could have been the first woman in the history of the eyeglass store in Great Neck, NY who ever asked to have the logo popped off the frames. The guy looked at me like I was from another planet.
I guess in Great Neck, I am.
Filed under animals, Iko, pets
I am a good cook. No really this is not a joke. I am really a good cook. And I enjoy it. But my kitchen is, well I guess you would say, a little challenged.
I have the fabulous Chambers Stove that you see in the picture above. I adore it from a design point of view. It is actually the reason I bought my house. I loved the charm of it. But the one problem is that if you use the broiler it heats up the griddle on the top surface and seeing that there is no fan above it the kitchen gets hot enough to set off the smoke alarm.
Ok, to set off 2 smoke alarms. One in the kitchen, one in the entry hall.
No biggie, right?
Unless you have a dog that has a strange neurological response to the sound of the alarm.
Which I don’t anymore. Iko is cool with it. But Mel? OMG, she would shake like her body was plugged into a socket. We used to have to take her outside and walk her around to calm her down.
So today when I used the broiler and set the chain of alarms off, my first reaction was to run and hug the dog. Who looked at me like, ‘Hey, what the hell is up with you and shouldn’t you get the broom and hit that thing to shut that incessant noise off?”
That Melly ghost just hung in the room for a second and made me realize how I will never stop missing that old girl.
Nothing like a daughter on twitter who has funny friends, that’s what I always say.
Yeh, the time has come for sweet little Iko to be put in her adorable puppy place. It’s one thing when she bites the ass of a family member, but the poor housekeeper… I don’t think so!
The shedevil is tons of fun and we are loving (almost) every minute of her, but the ass biting… not so much. As I said to her the other day, “No one bites MY ass without permission, kiddo.” TMI?
So, she learned to sit at 9 weeks, is closing in on giving paw and has been housebroken since we brought her home except for the occasional excited peeing for Jana’s boyfriend. But the nipping needs to be nipped, so let the games begin.
Seriously, though, how could you be mad at this face?
I have written – with disgust–about kids on leashes and dogs in strollers. The former spawned a call from Dr. Phil to try to get me to come on the show and duke it out with the leash supporting moms of America.
I am always astonished at the lack of separation out there between parenting kids and owning pets. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my pets. Losing Mel was one of the hardest things in my life, and now having Iko and nurturing a young puppy is a whole new set of emotions. But I never once confused them for my kids. Or felt I was parenting them. Not to say putting my toddlers in a crate to discipline them wouldn’t have come in handy, but a dog is a dog. A kid is a kid. And the idea of taking the methods used in raising one and projecting it on the other is concerning.
Enter the clip-on dog high chair. I believe when my kids were little we used to call these Sassy Seats (stupid name!). Now, in my home, we spend an enormous amount of time getting our dogs NOT to eat at the table. No begging. No jumping. Certainly no taking the food off the table or the counters. That would be specifically because…
THEY ARE DOGS!
But it seems that the makers or buyers of this ridiculous item don’t agree with the theory that dogs belong on the floor when they eat. Again, because…
THEY ARE DOGS!
Note there are more than one of these on the market indicating there is demand or people are trying to create one. Crazy stuff. And if you ask me all these dogs look a little out of their minds and certainly over-indulged.
The last one is really scary. Is she eating flan with a straw and a paw candle with a side of bisc(uit)otti?
My favorite search result is the April Fools video from Ikea. I just love this guy:
So, show of hands. Are you comfortable with your dog at the table. (warning: those who say yes, we will not be eating together any time soon)
I know, only I could run across a french bulldog with a pleather Biker Dude jacket in Home Depot.
On a Monday night.
In the suburbs.
Because, my friends, I attract this sort of thing. And I fully accept my lot in life and whole-heartedly embrace the responsibility to share this with those of you who are less fortunate in the ways of crazy occurrence in daily living.
Or just don’t carry a camera. Or a smartphone. Or – we can’t rule out – don’t care enough to document (shame on the last category)
Sunday I came across a ridiculous man with a dog in a stroller in the Bloomingdales shoe department. The next day I meet a foreigner with a biker bulldog in Home Depot. That makes sense, right? I am usually a firm believer that pets do not belong in clothing. They already have a coat, if you put one over it they might get overheated. Except in the case of my dear dog friend Penny, she just gets a little chilly and needs something to warm her up in her old age.
But since this coat was so spectacular I loosened my rule and started a conversation with the guy:
Me: OMG can I take a picture of your dog?
Guy: Um, I guess so (heavy slavic accent)
Me: He seems to like wearing it.
Guy: Yes, he does.
Me: Where did you get such a thing?
Guy: (with a much thicker accent than I thought he had at first.) Wal-Mart.
And there you have it kids. Another day in the life.