A Situation, or Life with a Lab.

Time: 6:45 am

Gary: Nooooo! Uch, now YOU get it.

Me: Ummm… you would be talking to who?

Gary: No, I am not kidding, you get it.

Me: (walking into the bathroom where I see both Gary and the Iko looking into the toilet) WAIT, I need to get a camera.

What, you thought I was going to stick my hand in the toilet to get that bone? Yeh, right! Yes, that is what that was, a bone. I have had people guess it was a sock and a condom. Seriously? A condom in my house? With my sans uterus, way past childbearing old arse?

Gary: She needs to get that out of the toilet. Go ahead Iko, you dropped it in there, now you get it out.

Iko: Gives the universal Lab look of ‘are you f’in kidding me’, turns around and walks out of the bathroom.

Me: Guess that leaves you, my sweet. Don’t worry, I just cleaned that toilet… um, when was that again.

He is hard pressed to believe I did not put the dog up to this… perhaps that will make him think next time he leaves the seat up ; )

Mom Fail

Packaging. It can be so deceiving. At first glance the red and white box simply seemed to be the inhaler I had just picked up from the pharmacy, so it went in the ‘to pack’ pile for my son’s semester abroad.

Ok, so it was the dog’s ear drops instead. Hey, she never let’s me get near her with them, anyway. Someone might as well use them.

I know, a wheezing American in Spain would probably not have seen the humor in that.

Mom fail or honest mistake?

Unattended Children

 

This sign hangs in the waiting room of my Vet’s office. (the wispy stuff is halloween related).

I love these people. We have been through a lot together in the past 13 years, both with my first dog and now my new one. They are kind, compassionate, loving people who have to put up with people and their pet craziness all day long. Which I would imagine is nothing compared to the irresponsible parenting that comes along with the territory.

I love this solution. Clear, to the point and with humor.

Hey, I wonder if there will be a band of wired kids and puppies running around in town this month.

Three Stooges Dog Toys?

Yes, I am pretty sure my husband has died and gone to heaven. I brought home the Moe version for him the other day and it actually talks! Now he wants Larry and Curly. As you can see on the display, the Curlies were all sold out at the store (of course) but I can get the others here. And no, there are no Joe Bessers or Shemps. Seriously, did anyone like them?

No I was not insulting him by buying a dog toy; The Three Stooges is sort of an alternate religion in this house. (please do not think less of us). 

My kids have watched since they were little. You know, “honey, don’t worry, I will keep the kids occupied while you food shop”. Oddly I would come home to a ‘Nyah, Nyah, Nyah’ or a ‘Are you happy or are you married?’ comment from the little rug rats.

A word of caution, the nose seems to have fallen off from quite a few of these in the store. Then again, if I gave them to Iko they would be gutted in less than an hour.

Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard… for duty and humanity.

Here is the full set. 

Iko Geico

Labragoat strikes again! I need puppy insurance!

If we had Allstate this post would not be half as funny.

Time to Cry Tuesday – Dog as Copilot

We have been away a lot this month, and Miss Iko has been a good sport about being in the care of others. But on the day after we return I always try to spend the day with her. Working at home makes that pretty easy.

Today I found myself having to make a last minute trip in the car and was going to be gone for a couple of hours. I just could not bear that little face as I was leaving the house, so…

I invited her for the ride.

The thing is, this puppy is far from a good car dog. Mel? She was the queen of the car ride. She sat in the back when asked and would never consider jumping out the window. Hell, she would sit in the convertible with the top down and never think of bolting. Iko? Not so much.

I know it is not good to compare dogs, and they all have their roles in your life. So I am going to deem Iko my co-pilot. I am sure it is a job she will take very seriously as she gets older. This shot pretty much illustrates her dedication.

As for the title of this post, it was inspired by this book, that I highly recommend.

Labragoat

If you have ever owned  Labrador Retriever puppy you already started laughing at the title of this post. My last lab was a chewer as a pup as well, but it was so long ago my memory has faded. I am pretty sure that Iko is way worse. To give you an idea, here is a list of what she has chewed or eaten in the past few weeks:

• A leather flip flop (see above, she did quite a nice job on this one)
• 2 pairs of vintage prescription sunglasses and a nice bite out of the lens of a brand new pair (yes, I know, stop leaving them on the counter)
• 2 plastic bins that we kept her toys in (BTW,red plastic comes out exactly how it went in)
• A few indestructible dog toys from manufacturers with claims that they cannot be destroyed (they have not met Psycho Iko)
• A couple of mouthfuls of Biotone (this is a garden fertilizer and required an emergency trip to the vet with the bag and a call to poison control. They told us it is not toxic and she will just violently projectile vomit… um, that is how we knew she ate it, but thanks.)
• A ballpoint pen (leaving a blue birthmark on the side of her face)
• A client’s check (perhaps she ate the pen to forge my signature on the check)
• Countless sticks, flowers and terra cotta pots (she loves the garden)

Shall I go on? I guess you get the picture. Hey anyone want to dogsit this weekend?

Sometimes Puppies Suck

Ok, maybe that won’t be the most popular post title for search. Or then again, maybe it will.

Bottom line, sometimes puppies DO suck. Like when you get up with them at 6AM, let them out, feed them and that is STILL not enough. They whine like a little baby when you go back to bed because it is – ahem… friggin SATURDAY! – and then when you ignore them they figure out how to ‘f’ you real bad.

That’s right, for those who know me, the prescription sunglasses that I have owned for at least 8 years are no longer. And yes, that IS a Gucci logo on there. Again, if you know me I do not do the designer thing, but I always loved these glasses and made an exception.

I could have been the first woman in the history of the eyeglass store in Great Neck, NY who ever asked to have the logo popped off the frames. The guy looked at me like I was from another planet.

I guess in Great Neck, I am.

 

Time to Cry Tuesday – Two Alarm Dinner

I am a good cook. No really this is not a joke. I am really a good cook. And I enjoy it. But my kitchen is, well I guess you would say, a little challenged.

I have the fabulous Chambers Stove that you see in the picture above. I adore it from a design point of view. It is actually the reason I bought my house. I loved the charm of it. But the one problem is that if you use the broiler it heats up the griddle on the top surface and seeing that there is no fan above it the kitchen gets hot enough to set off the smoke alarm.

Ok, to set off 2 smoke alarms. One in the kitchen, one in the entry hall.

No biggie, right?

Unless you have a dog that has a strange neurological response to the sound of the alarm.

Which I don’t anymore. Iko is cool with it. But Mel? OMG, she would shake like her body was plugged into a socket. We used to have to take her outside and walk her around to calm her down.

So today when I used the broiler and set the chain of alarms off, my first reaction was to run and hug the dog. Who looked at me like, ‘Hey, what the hell is up with you and shouldn’t you get the broom and hit that thing to shut that incessant noise off?”

That Melly ghost just hung in the room for a second and made me realize how I will never stop missing that old girl.

Time to Cry Tuesday – Pink Snow

Every morning — before the insanity of the day — I walk. I started this about 8 years ago when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure (way too young) and realized if I did not get my arse moving I was going to find myself in trouble. What started as a practice for my physical health wound up being the key to my mental well being as well.

I walk in all weather. I have snow, rain and sweltering heat gear and there are few excuses for no walk. Being a dog person, my canines have been my personal trainers, never taking no for an answer. Mel, rest her crazy little soul, walked up until her very last day. Now Miss Iko the semi-psycho puppy would never except any reason to miss the walk.

Each time of year has its wonders. I love to walk in fog (I know… weirdo) and there is something incredibly challenging about walking in extreme temps, both hot and cold.

But there is absolutely nothing more magical than the pink snow of Spring. I can not stop taking pictures of this because it will never cease to dazzle me. The top pic is my favorite but here are a few more that I have taken over the last few days.

Enjoy. And don’t forget to stop and notice these things. They were created for you to enjoy, remember to be grateful.