Time to Cry Tuesday – Letting Go, Global Version

As a parent, every few years you are faced with another rite of passage, another adventure your child is about to embark on, another chance for you to show your chops as a parent. Although your heart is hanging on to the hem of their pants as they walk through that door, your head is ready to let them fly…

again.

The last time I wrote one of these my boy was off to college. Seems like yesterday, yet here we, are 3 and half years later and he is off for a semester abroad in Seville, Spain. I thought now would be a good time to give him one of my famous lists of advice. I do this every so often to remind him, or more likely myself, that I am not quite through imparting wisdom just yet. If I write it here instead of tell him all this to his face, I spare myself the humiliation of the sighing and eye-rolling. So here goes, in no particular order.

1. Don’t be THAT American. This is similar to what I told my kids when they were first starting to experiment with drinking. Don’t be THAT girl/guy, the one that gets wasted and pukes on themselves. Don’t be THAT American simply means respect the local culture.
2. Try to really SEE Europe, don’t just drink Europe. This is obvious to me and quite ridiculous to him. Hopefully somewhere in between will be his reality.
3. Keep your eyes open and soak in everything. You never know what might wind up being the answer to what you want to do with your life.
4. Be Smart. If it feels wrong, it probably is. If it seems unsafe, it probably is.
5. Eat Everything, within reason. No explanation needed.
6. Don’t be a dick (not that you ever would be). Again, the international version. This is like number 1 on steroids. Check the ego at the door and you might as well leave the egocentric there to keep it company.
7. If you have to play beer pong, make sure you win the 100 Euro. Self-explanatory.
8. Amsterdam – you MUST see the Anne Frank House. As Jana said, as a Jew it is your responsibility. Period.
9. The rest of your time in Amsterdam. I do not need details, thanks.
10. Have the time of your life. This one should be easy.

In all seriousness, you are an amazing young man and have always made us proud. We have no real worries about this trip. We are just a more than a little jealous.

Mom Fail

Packaging. It can be so deceiving. At first glance the red and white box simply seemed to be the inhaler I had just picked up from the pharmacy, so it went in the ‘to pack’ pile for my son’s semester abroad.

Ok, so it was the dog’s ear drops instead. Hey, she never let’s me get near her with them, anyway. Someone might as well use them.

I know, a wheezing American in Spain would probably not have seen the humor in that.

Mom fail or honest mistake?

Second Floor Live Porn in Madtown, WI

Yeh, that post title is a blog whore’s way of getting some (albeit unsavory) traffic. So shoot me. And no, my son had nothing to do with this… I hope. Actually, he could very well have been one of the dozen or so people gathered on the street watching this unfold, or undress as the case may be. A big thank you to Dr. Jimmy for sending this one to me.

This is one crazy story. It appears that 25-year-old Kevin Horner (seriously? is that REALLY his name?) took to jumping on the bed of a second floor hotel room in – of all places – Madison, WI. Mr. Horny, I mean Horner, was jumping in front of the window of his room at the University Inn on Frances and State Streets…. sans pants.

I happen to know his corner quite well as it directly across the street from the freshman dorm that both my kids lived in. In fact, you could be running on the treadmill in the second floor gym and look straight into the window that Kevin was wiggling his johnson in. (no not on Johnson Street, that was Frances Street).

The arresting officer said his goal was to keep any innocent bystanders from being exposed and offended by the view. Damn, that guy is no fun! Unless of course the Horner Johnson was, in fact, an offensive looking one.

Horner admitted, “I made a mistake and should have kept my pants on”.

Why is no one asking why a 25-year-old was jumping on the bed?

Can’t make this stuff up.

Time to Cry Tuesday – Help Find Lauren Spierer – Missing from Indiana University

UPDATE 6.9.11

There is now a $145,000 reward

This is every parents’ unthinkable nightmare. It is with deep sadness that I am posting this information about an Indiana University student who is missing. I urge everyone who sees this to help spread the word. Here are links you can share. Please post and RT as often as you can.

June 9 UPDATE: This page has been added as the official family page in reaction to false information and irrelevant comments on other pages. They are verifying info and request that there be no comments on the page.

Facebook group Missing: Lauren Spierer

Facebook event: Please help spread the word about Lauren Spierer’s disappearance!

Facebook profile page: Lauren Spierer missing

Facebook community page: Help find Lauren Spierer – Missing from Indiana Universtity

Website for information and to volunteer.

Follow the effort on twitter.

Follow hashtags #LaurenSpierer, #FindLauren

Bloomington Police Tip Hotline: 1-812-339-4477

America’s Most Wanted: 1-800-CRIMETV

You know your kids are older when…

My kids are home! For the first weekend in 6 months we have a full house. There is a lot of laundry, boxes everywhere, the dishwasher is always full and the fridge gets empty rather quickly.

It is a little disorienting but I love it.

Now that they are adults(ish) the dinner conversation has changed quite a bit. It really goes over the top when we have a full house with our dear family friends. The conversation is always lively and never fit for a family restaurant.

That has never stopped us.

Just a sampling of topics:

1. Fake boobs. Best comment on this topic: ‘Did you get caught looking at the mom’s fake boobs? Oh she is  the stepmom, that’s a different story’

2. Fake boobs and sisters. Consensus is this is not ok.

3. Nose jobs. How it is uncool to have one and then act like you didn’t.

4. Penis enlargements. Under no circumstances should moms every bring these up in front of their sons. Or call them an adictomy. Both happened (for the record it wasn’t me).

Believe it or not, that was just the tip of the iceberg. I am sure the rest of the patrons were quite happy when we left.

 

Time to Cry Tuesday – Morgridge Pledge: Graduates and Giving

There is nothing like the thrill of watching your first born cross a stage to receive their diploma at college graduation. You can pretend that it is all part of the parental experience and not such a big deal, until arena fills and the band starts playing and you see all those decorated caps and sea of gowns and realize, wow, that is my kid in that crowd of graduates. She made it. We made it.

And then there is that moment when you think, What has she really learned? What has this place given her that will carry her through life? Not the academics or the GPA, but the real stuff. The things that will help her become the type of person she wants to be.

Enter the charming and playful John and Tashia Morgridge. John Morgridge, chair emeritus of the board of Cisco Systems, and Tashia Morgridge, a special education teacher who in retirement volunteers as a teacher for the learning disabled, have made a major impact on the UW campus through their giving.

We were so very fortunate to not only hear them make the commencement speech (together… how cool is that?), but to find out about a unique challenge that they put out to the graduating class. They have created a matching gift program.

The goal of their new pledge is for 15 percent of the Class of 2011 to make a gift. That would be 975 students from among the 6,500 graduates. Through Dec. 31, the Morgridges will match gifts ranging from $20.11 to  $120.11 to support a graduate’s college, school or department, or the university at large. Pledges can be made online here.

As I heard them encourage this class to give back to their Alma Mater I realized that THIS is that impact I as thinking of. Highly successful Alumni not only giving back, but teaching the next generation how to do so as well. Leading by example and most importantly making the ability to give accessible by keeping the donation amount low, then doubling its impact with the matching pledge.

Brilliant.

Thank you to the Morgridges, for both being such avid supporters of UW and the added bonus of teaching this generation how to follow your example.

You know you are in a college town when…

I found this to be a fairly impressive list for an establishment that served blue drinks out of fishbowls. One of the grandma’s (not our family) that joined us with the grads at the bar told us never to drink blue drinks because you will inevitably find yourself face down on the table.

Good rule. Sage wisdom.

I particularly like bullet number 3: No sagged pants or shorts (must cover your underwear/Above your ass)

Classy joint!

Time to Cry Tuesday – The College Graduation Post

I thought it would be a good idea to give fair warning in the title to all my friends who are about to embark on the road trip to graduation.

College graduation? Really? How could that be, she looks too young to have a child that age.

What? She doesn’t look so young? Oh right, she just thinks she does. Because she displays adolescent behavior she still feels like she herself is a college student. AND she is a little nuts with this talking in the third person thing. Ah, cut her some slack, her kid is graduating!

Ok, kiddies, here goes:

Four years? Has it actually been four years since I sat at this very keyboard and banged out the High School graduation post that brought us all to our knees? I suppose so, for as I look down at this keyboard I see that the passage of time has worn away any visible signs of both the ‘i’ and ‘n’ keys. (Odd, I know. There must be some significance to those letters, but it escapes me)

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this next rite of passage for my first born. At the beginning it seemed to not be such a big deal; certainly not compared to the emotions of her High School graduation. Sending a child off into the world felt monumental. It was the first step on the long journey of letting go. A tape loop of the curly-headed little whirling dervish danced in my head as I thought of leaving her halfway across the country.

She was SO ready.

I was so NOT.

For the most part we both did really well with it… until the first time she got sick and I felt just how far Madison, Wisconsin was from home. But she survived. And so did I. With flying colors, actually.

As graduation grows closer, the ‘not such a big deal’ theory is starting to get some holes in it. Who the hell am I kidding? I cry at Applebee’s commercials for G-d sake! I sent a 19-year-old kid off to college and this amazing young woman is coming out on the other end. It was like some crazy science experiment… 2 parts Badger, 1 part personal navigation and a 100 inches of snow a year. Shake well, supply digital equipment, a warm coat, a semester abroad, a shoulder to cry on when needed (aka, bitch too) and wait 4 years to see what it morphs into.

And morph she did! She is one of the few people on this earth that can put me in my place and not piss me off while she is doing it. She makes me laugh till I cry and cry till I laugh. She has my warped sense of humor tempered with a level head and a kind heart that floors me more often than not.

Did I mention she and her 80 lbs. of shoes (20 lbs a year) are moving back home. I suppose getting her back makes it easier than letting her go.

Sort of. But as much as she loves us, and our home, we are not foolish enough to think that this is where she wants to be. And as soon as her next chapter begins she will move out… for good this time.

Ouch. Sort of.

Here’s the thing (which BTW is the phrase she always used as a teenager to preface a difficult discussion… ironic). It is time for Miss Jana to become who she will be. And, like most young people her age there is a part of her that is scared to death. So this is for you my sweet girl:

I have always told you that you can do anything that you set your mind to (except maybe pee standing up… that one is tough). You can. Not everyone knows what they want to be when they grow up – most of my friends still don’t. The most important thing is that you just keep growing up – for the rest of your life. And equally as important, never forget the wonders of being young. Passions will find their way to you. Necessity will rear its looming head and drive you to reach your goals. Life is funny.

When you least expect it, you find yourself just where you should be.

Begin Anywhere.

This is why I love my daughter’s friends

My daughter and her friends have finally hooked into twitter, and I LOVE it.

The other day I saw this tweet:

Since it is hard to read I will translate:

Chetley Has Been Compromised. There is a Situation!

Chetley would be her beloved teddy bear that I have reconstructed more than once in her lifetime. He has also been the target of similar ‘terrorist’ attacks by her campers when she was a counselor. I was a bit concerned when I saw the tweet so sent back a reply asking about his welfare.

This is what came next:

I could not see who was in the picture so I texted her to find out that it is The Situation from Jersey Shore, hence, ‘the situation’ in the first photo.

How can you not love these girls? Speaking of which (cough cough, shameless plug) if you did not get a chance to donate to the UW Dance Marathon that they are participating in, it is not too late. You can do so here.

 

Everyone Needs a Morale Captain

Think about it… you are feeling sort of low, your self-esteem is waning, you just can’t seem to get yourself going so you call…

The Morale Captain!

What a title! And what a perfect job for my daughter, Jana. She is it the ultimate camp counselor, the planner of all activities. She’s the one who gets everyone motivated, flights booked, lists made and out the door. So what better job for her during the University of Wisconsin Dance Marathon than to be the Morale Captain. Her job is to keep individuals energized and motivated to stay on their feet throughout the 15 hour event. And she doesn’t even drink coffee!

As the mom that raised this kid I can tell you sleep was never a high priority for the first few years of her life, so she is well suited for the task.

The Dance Marathon is a student run philanthropy project that funds the American Family Children’s Hospital. If you would like to donate to this fabulous event you can do so here. And who knows, she may even take your call when your feeling down and get you back on your feet again. I know she can always do that for me.

Go Jana go!