Lady Anti-Monkey Butt

anit-monkey-butt

I saw this the other day in the oddest of places… the hardware store. I am still unclear why it was on the shelf next to the Duck Tape (not to be confused with the Duct Tape).

Perhaps this was the animal shelf.

I had a vague memory of this stuff and went back into my archives to find that I had written about the male version back in October 09. Yes, I have been writing that long… much longer actually; about stuff like anti-friction powder, so yes, you could say I have an impressive body of work.

I simply love the hot pink butt on this monkey. The pink bow, the thumbs up, the crazy grin of anti-friction relief, the pearl earrings for G-d’s sake… she is just fabulous.

I think I was drawn to her human stance because I just finished a 582 page book about a talking chimp. I have this odd feeling that all the animals around me can really talk but they are clamming up because they don’t want to make a scene.

No, I don’t think I have snapped.

Back to the powder. Anti-friction? Is it me, or do I just not feel that there is so much butt friction in my daily life that I need something to counter it. Perhaps it is this – my son always complains about a condition he calls swamp ass. So the first thing I thought of when I saw this was how great it would be for lady swamp ass. You know, like the Virginia Slims of ass relief. And then I read that post from a few years ago and I had the same thought (sans the Virginia Slims).

So now I am snapping AND losing my memory.

Who cares. The thing that counts is that I am blogging again. And after a long period of being serious, I feel compelled to be absurd again. That can’t be bad (not as bad as butt friction, anyway).

So, for those of you who missed me and were starting to complain…

You asked for it!

3 Comments

Filed under absurdities, animals, blogging, products

3 responses to “Lady Anti-Monkey Butt

  1. my son told me not 15 minutes ago that his wee wee hurt, and frankly, i think it’s from those dang skinny jeans, so i wish i had this product to apply to his chafed area.

    • I knew someone would need this!! What’s worse, the skinny jeans or the baggy ones where the butt hangs out?

      • well, i blogged about bieber’s pants on the ground, so i have to back that up and say baggy is worse, since the boxers are showing. plus, baggy jeans make you move like you’re doing the three-legged race on field day at school.

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