50-something moms posts

Visit me over at 50-something moms blog for a a heartwarming story about a High School basketball team and their plan to help the Haiti earthquake victims.

Sleep Apnea and You

Ahh, those fabulous facebook targeted ads. Does anyone else pay attention to these? One of my concerns of late is that I get more absurd ads than anyone else. Am I paranoid, or am I truly the Magnet For the Absurd (MFTA)?

This beauty came across my page the other night:

What the hell? What is a CPAP mask and is anyone else horrified at the idea of sleeping next to someone wearing one of these things? And, oh wise algorithm of facebook…why me? I wonder, is there a huge population of women my age on facebook that suffer from sleep apnea. Or is this just an ad that rotates through the entire facebook community in hopes that they will find those who do suffer. I had to do myself a little research on this (big surprise) and found this horrifying article that states the following:

New research from South Korea indicates that people who suffer from severe obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) have reduced concentrations of gray matter in multiple areas of the brain.

Gray matter refers to the brain’s cerebral cortex, where most of the analyzing processes take place. The changes in brain structure maybe the cause of heart and memory problems—which are both common in individuals with OSA.

Oh crap, is my lack of gray matter showing! Honey does this reduced gray matter make my ass look fat?

I digress, back to facebook ads. I can understand some of the others that show up on my page. You know the ones that target everything towards 50-year-olds just to remind me how old I am in case I maybe forgot for a moment or two in between the days when AARP has sent me membership cards – I have received 7 to date, no lie. I have seen the Buy Uggs at 50 ad with the pink Uggs that no one on earth would be caught dead in. Figuring this ad was done by some 20-something who thinks her mom’s friends are lame enough to buy them. Or the hey 50-year-old we need you to test out the i-pad, maybe because the i-adultdiaper is not quite out of beta yet! Yeesh!

Wait, what was this post about again? (uh oh, must be the gray matter thing)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Time to Cry Tuesday – My Little Man

If you are lucky, there is a little man in your life. I have one and he is the light of my days; surely in the warm weather when he is outside bright and early. I start my mornings with a visit from him. Perhaps he is more interested in seeing my dog, but he always gives me a big smile and it is all I can do to stop from biting his little face off. (ok, a bit much)

Ryan is the son and grandson of my dear neighbors. His mom and aunt actually babysat for my kids back in the day; lots of history. We like to think of them as the Irish side of our family. We are blessed to have neighbors that we adore.

Saturday morning I was getting ready to go out when I got a phone call from his grandfather, “Ryan has something for you, can you meet us at the garage door in a couple of minutes?” I opened the door and there he was with a plate of cupcakes for Gary, Danny, Mel (who would have eaten the whole plate if given the option) and I. Look at those little hands, now imagine how adorable his face is (sorry, I don’t post other people’s little kids here, but believe me his face is as cute as his hands).

He was so very proud of himself. Standing there with a grin from ear to ear. He is the best poser I know. And I could not help but think how incredibly lucky I am to have this little man in my life. He loves me unconditionally (as long as I am with my dog, anyway), always has a smile for me and tells a story like no other. No matter how rough a day I am having, a visit from Ryan makes me realize what life is all about. His zest for everything, his 5-year-old humor and mild obsession with landscapers is somewhat contagious (well maybe not the landscaper thing).

Although our new neighbors do have a little girl who may be stealing his affections away from me I am pretty sure I can share him with her because she is equally adorable.

And the best part? He has a little sister who I plan on winning over just the same.

Thanks for the cupcakes Ry!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Superbowl ad roundup

Yeh, I am one of the people who is more into the ads than the football. Although this year I was a little bit into the football since I have an affection for the Saints after my trip to New Orleans. Or maybe it is more the Saints fans that I loved. Whatever, I am happy for a city that has known so much pain to have a real reason to celebrate (as if they need one – that town can party!)

Back to the ads. I will give a blanket opinion… they sucked. Except, of course, for talking babies because no one will ever get tired of them because, well because they are talking babies! And Milkaholic was a great word. So E-Trade, you got it right and keeping with what works was a good idea.

Ok, how about Pop Secret? (or whatever popcorn brand it was) with the people as dolphins which was just damn creepy. And that unforgettable tagline: Awesome + Awesome = Awesomer. Um, yeh, that’s brilliant, right? I have sat in on many a creative presentation in my day. I can’t imagine who on earth would not only approve that but agree to sign a check for it. The group I was with decided the boss’s 11 year old kid came up with it, they forced it on the agency and they figured they would save some money on creative. Big fail!

Then there were the series of women bashing, “I am tired of being a ‘whipped’ husband” type of ads. The best line of all was in the Dodge Charger commercial where one of the lines in between “I promise to be nice to your mother” and “I will always take out the recycling” there was this gem of a line “I will hold your lip balm in my pocket.” C’mon ladies, how many of you out there ask you husband to ‘hold your lip balm’. Aside from every one of these ads looked like they hired their talent from one single casting call, I wonder why in the year 2010 we are not evolved enough to avoid playing into the obvious neanderthal ads making being a husband seem like the worst job on earth. Oh and of course there was the Dockers ad with all the guys in a field in their skivvies. The point of that was, “Put your pants on” Um, again, huh?

So… I am sticking with my opinion that Pepsi made the best move of all by taking all their millions and deciding to make a difference. Check out the Pepsi Refresh Project. Take a stroll around the site and check out the many ways they are going to make a difference in the coming year…

Instead of goofing on guys and making wives look like a pack of blogging, oops I mean nagging biatches.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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An unfortunate choice of typography

Break fart at Brennan’s?

Well with all the hollandaise sauce that would probably be likely.

Is it me, or does that ’s’ look like and ‘r’?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Unfake it

We all get them. These stupid spam emails that come from all sorts of ridiculous sender names. They have silly subject lines and almost all of them lead to a canadian pharmacy website peddling erectile dysfunction drugs. I always wonder why I get these emails. Am I targeted for being the type of woman whose penis envy is suffering from erectile dysfunction?

I found today’s email particularly entertaining. Let me break this one down.

Senders Name: Summer Flumerfelt. Now there is a porn star name if I ever heard one. Seriously, when did your flumer last get felt properly? Season or month first names always seem so fitting for porn stars.

Subject: You would, would you? Hmmm, cryptic, no? Definitive yet questioning. Or maybe this makes no sense at all but keeps us guessing that maybe we just are not sophisticated enough to get it. I love the two ‘woulds’ flanked by the two ‘yous’. Is anyone else out there as fascinated by sentence construction as I am? Did the writer even get that they were doing that? Do I have too much time on my hands today? (that last one was rhetorical)

Message: Treat-libido-problems-^efficently.. I guess the hypens between the words are an indication that this is some auto-generated messaging. Not sure about the other senseless punctuation but the message made me laugh. I can see wanting to treat a rash or dandruff efficiently, but libido? I would prefer treating that a notch or two above efficiently.

url link: http://unfake.it/smJO I almost missed the message in the middle of this one:

Unfake it.

I think that needs to be added to my t-shirt line!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Vote for Mel

I am always checking out the latest cause-related campaigns because they tie together my passion for marketing, promotion, social media, design and a worthy cause. One of the best things about the social web is the way those involved have embraced social good and incorporated it into some really fantastic promotions. One only needs to take a peek at what Pepsi has up its sleeve instead of the gazillion dollar Super Bowl ads this year.

Today I received an email from Zazzle promoting a photo contest with a fundraising component supporting Spay Day 2010.

Who better to enter this contest than our dear sweet Mel – the ultimate good sport. I entered the photo below because although there have been many featured on this blog in the past, this is my all time fave. She is a great model.

Below is a preview of a page where you can vote for my girl and make a donation to a local organization, The Animal Lovers League in Glen Cove. Here is a link to the page as well. If you feel so inclined, make a donation to a worthy cause. She has 30 votes already!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Time to Cry Tuesday – It truly is a small world

We often take for granted how small the world has become. Our kids consider the technology that enables constant communication to be a given. Ichat, videochat, skype, texting, IM, bbm, facebook, twitter; these all make email seem like snail mail to them. They lose their ability to disappear but I think the trade-off seems worth it to them.

Access. All the time. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

This post is about the good. Ok, so if you read me regularly you are not surprised that I would focus on the positive aspect of technology. But as a parent in the year 2010, with a daughter situated quite comfortably in Spain, technology is the greatest friggin’ thing on this earth.

Last night we had our first video chat with Jana since she left almost 2 weeks ago. You might imagine that this would have been about really important stuff. Well it was, sort of. For instance, we got to see the way her bathroom light turns on ‘all freaky’. And then she whispered ‘the boy’ into the computer screen as her spanish roommate came by and asked her a question. We got to wave hello to her other roommates and get a tour of her apartment. We talked about everything and nothing with her. Better than IM or texting, this was my kid with all her subtleties and nuances; her humor and expressions. The essence of who she is.

On the laptop screen.

On the dining room table.

As if she was there.

Now I know this is no big revelation. For the past few years this has become commonplace. But damn! I am a mom with a kid on the other side(ish) of the world and I can sit in the dining room and bullshit with her as if she were right here.

And it’s free!

C’mon, how cool is that?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Amy’s Pre-Grammy Day

In celebration of the Grammy’s, or perhaps because it was the last day of the exhibit and my sweet sister-in-law made sure that I would not miss something so wonderful before it was over, we went to the Brooklyn Musuem’s “Who Shot Rock & Roll” this afternoon.

I will tell you all that I am sorry the show closed today because anyone who is a true fan should be sorry that they missed this gem. (Dr. Jimmy, we missed you!) Along with some of the most memorable images of the past 50 years in rock and roll, the exhibit was peppered with treats such as a full wall of a lenticular Jimi Hendrix (this is the process like the old wink buttons where the image changes when you move around it) , Jerry Garcia and Mountain Girl, and a mosh pit shot that defied reality. Also, not to give Jimi too much weight, but there was a series of him burning his guitar at Monterey Pop that I really wanted to slip in my bag on the way out. Amongst the iconic shots like Bob Gruen’s John Lennon  in the NY T-shirt and images from rock photography greats like Danny Clinch and one of the world’s greatest photography talents, Richard Avedon, the show was more about the not so famous photographers. The men and women who never achieved great fame but shot those who did. I found their stories the most interesting.

As if this pre-Grammy day was not perfect enough, I drove home in time to hear Bob Dylan’s Theme Radio Show on XM and tonight’s theme was New York. Although I did not get to hear the whole show I did hear this: Duke Ellingtons, Take the A Train into Funky Broadway, not by Wilson Picket but Dyke & the Blazers, into a wonderful reading by Bob of Emma Lazurus’ The New Colossus (you know: Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yadayadyada) into Lou Reed’s Dirty Blvd that parody’s that work. (Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I’ll piss on ‘em
that’s what the Statue of Bigotry says. Your poor huddled masses, let’s club ‘em to death and get it over with and just dump ‘em on the boulevard.) Not gonna lie, had that one cranked up to window rattling levels. Always been a sucker for Lou Reed.

All in all, I go to bed tonight a happy camper. Sometimes the week beats the crap out of us. If we can rejuice with what we love on the weekend we wake up Monday with a better attitude and the skill set to try again.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Confession: I am a Costco Neophyte

Not kidding. I have lived in the suburbs for the past 20 years and have only been to Costco one time. Until today. Gary usually does the Costco run. He loves keeping inventory, as my friend Todd would call it. And the CD section is his little treat at the end of the spree.

Today, I needed paper towels, Swiffer supplies and light bulbs. So I figured I would go with him to avoid spending $300 in the quest to buy those few items.

We drove up and someone had a couch on a dolly, wheeling it out to their car. They sell furniture at Costco?! Honestly, can I actually be the last person on earth who does not know this? Or who does not shop at one of the big box stores for that matter. I really need to get out of the basement more.

Not gonna lie, I did get a kick out of the place. And Karen, you were right, the little snack stations are simply divine. But for the life of me I cannot understand why anyone would think it was good merchandising to sell area rugs directly next to fresh fish. That just seems wrong. “Honey, I love this new rug you bought for the living room but it smells oddly like crab legs.”

My favorite purchases? 18 pack of sponges! Love that. And the big thing of cinnamon for 4 bucks (I make my coffee with cinnamon every morning. Hey, it adds up).

So, in my quest to avoid having Gary spend $300 by himself, we spent…

$325 instead!

Agreed, impossible to get out of there for less. But hey, we needed it all, right?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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How to get 2,590,000 google hits for your name?

In less than 6 days. That is quite impressive don’t you think? So what do you think good ole Robert Jenkins did to deserve all that content out there on the world wild web?

Nobel peace prize? Nope.

Emerged from the rubble in Haiti after 11 days? uh uh.

Viral video? Amercian Idol contestant? Lost 150 lbs? No. No. And no.

Mr. (and I use that term loosely) Robert Jenkins became famous last week because he was arrested for…

get ready, this one is pretty amazing.

He was arrested for PEEING ON THE STEAKS IN WALMART.

Yes, you read that correctly. Good old Bobby-boy pulled out his Oscar Meyer Weiner (or as Elaine Benes would say He. Took. It. Out.) and gave $600 worth of meat in a Canton, Ohio Walmart a little golden shower. Why, you ask?

Gary thinks it was because he was pissed.

(A few little notes on this post. A big thank you to my dear blog/twitter friend Michelle Lamar who never disappoints me with content for absurd posting. She is the one who turned me onto tampon crafts. Also, a shout out to J. who was disappointed the the Bread Gloves was not absurd enough. And of course Dr. Jimmy who is not all that fond of mom blogging but loves a good MFTA anyday).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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