I Take a Sheet

This is a banner week for people sending me things. This one comes from Natasha.

What a campaign! If you have ever eaten dinner over you know there is an inordinate amount of discussion surrounding…

taking a sheet. You could say we are a little preoccupied with it (or is that just me?)

I can’t imagine how they ever got the client to go for this campaign, but honestly I think it is hysterical and will surely get attention for this ridiculous product; Energy sheets that melt in your mouth like those breath strips with ‘vitamins’ and… caffeine, to help you with endurance when you are doing sports.

You know, for those who don’t give a sheet about their bodies (sorry, cheap shot).

BTW, their website is a gas. (I know I have a million of these)

Avoid poking eyes.

Do you ever wonder who writes these guides? Did someone post a complaint on the Facebook page of the Wahl Lithium Home Hair Cutter complaining that they had tried poking their eyes with this item and it caused injury? Did this person’s parents never use the phrase, ‘Knock it off, you’ll poke your eye out’ whilst they were fiddling around with something as a kid?

A big thanks to Joyce for sending this baby over just as I was pondering a topic for today’s post. Another reader sent me something yesterday that I am contemplating posting but it might just be too outrageous for me (doubtful).

 

A Good Day

A good day stars with good garbage.

I know, maybe not every one feels this way. But if you walked early in the AM you might agree with me. The time is so serene. Nothing has quite happened yet that could ruin a day. It is early morn and you are walking down the street with that special brand of stillness only the beginning of the day can bring. The air is fresh, the sky is just waking up, the birds are singing. And then, right there in front of you, on the curb…

the ultimate display of refuse.

Today did not disappoint. The half mannequin would have been enough. But the way that clementine crate was hanging off of her? That? That was true art.

Would it amuse you to know that as I was crouching on his lawn to take this shot, tethered to the new puppy, the owner of this house pulled into his driveway?

Thought so.

The key to these situations is to never turn around and have eye contact.

 

Time to Cry Tuesday – Dog Walkin’

Balance has been restored. After months of walking sans canine, I am happy to report that the puppy had her last shots on Saturday, making her walk-worthy. I am not sure I can express this feeling of getting on with my life. For so many months my daily living was turned upside down. Floods, office renovations and the loss of my first dog took their toll on me in ways I did not fully realize until today –when the last piece of my routine was restored.

It was pretty emotional to walk with this new pup. It was hard to think about how many times I walked that route with Mel. How much a part of my life, and the neighborhood, she was. Today, as I walked down the street a man got out of his car to greet Iko. A friend emailed to say she had seen me walking a puppy. One of Gary’s tennis friends told him he saw us walking and how happy he was for us to have a dog again.

Funny, you go through your day and never realize the impact you have on others. There was a Mel-sized hole, not just in our home, but in the neighborhood. Those are some pretty big paws for Iko to fill, but I think she will do her best to rise to the occasion.

Yes, I know this photo should be titled ‘Giant woman walks minuscule dog’. There is something about the angle of this shot that looks something like a B horror movie, but I sort of like it. Especially because Iko is anything but minuscule. Weighing in at 31 lbs at 4 months we are anticipating that the trainer was our best investment. Nothing worse than an 80lb dog dive bombing you from across the room or dragging you down the block.

As the mail carrier said to me when she met Iko the other day, “What a wonderful testament to how great a dog Mel was that you were able to get another so soon.”

To my old girl Mel, there will never be another you and we will miss you forever. But I am pretty sure that you would rather look down on me walking with a puppy than being alone. You were just that kind of dog.

It’s Toilet Season

Apparently it is in my neighborhood.

An early morning walker and lover of garbage day, I take notice of what people throw away. It seems toilets are all the rage in the ‘hood.

First I came across this one at the curb, which BTW has been there since January 10th. It has that lovely retro Harvest Gold look to it. They tried to cleverly camouflage it as regular garbage by stuffing some boxes in it and leaving it at the curb.

The garbage men are not buying it.

This second one is sort of leaning causally at the back of the house just chillin’ with the old screens and stuff. You know, sort of making a permanent home for itself as a lawn ornament of sorts. No, I do not walk into people’s backyards to take pictures. What? You think I am a stalker or something? This yard butts up against an open area on my walk. I love that Regency Blue styling.

How do I know so much about vintage toilet colors? You know, it’s sort of a hobby. No seriously, I found them here which led me to here.

Amazing what you can find.

Creepy Stress Ball

THIS is a damn creepy stress ball. And the way it is packaged with just the face sticking out of a hole like that just adds to its degree of creepiness.

I took this picture for my friend Michelle Lamar, because we are constantly in competition for photos of the bizarre. She is the one who turned me on to tampon crafts way back when. She is my idol of tackiness.

So this guy? What makes him so creepy? Is it the pink lipstick? The bushy eyebrows? Oh right, the fact that someone would design something like this as a desk accessory could be it!

So he represents who? The quintessential asshole boss? Your perverted Uncle Ernie? The pedophile next door? Why, I ask you, will we get pleasure in squishing his seemingly benign, bald little head?

Ok, too much thought, right? WTH, I am so going back to that weird little card store near Home Goods and buying this one. He deserves a spot on my novelty shelf along with the Obsessive Compulsive Action Figure , The Mini Marauding Pirates and the Evolving Darwin Playset.

Yes, I do in fact own all three of those.

 

When Men do Merchandising

Jana and I went into the drug store yesterday to pick up some tampax. (Now there is a show-stopping opening line if I ever wrote one.) As we walked down the aisle I heard her famous brand of “ARE you kidding me?!” I turned around to see not one, but two NFL free standing displays…

blocking the tampons and feminine hygiene products.

As a marketer and brand-focused professional I tried to see what the idea was behind this. I have come up with a few thoughts and will outline them here, with a poll at the end to get your input.

Put the NFL stuff in front of the tampons because:

1. while a woman is bleeding she feels the need to get a little gift for her guy to distract him.

2. there are women who are football fans and they may want some of these for themselves.

3. stockperson was stoned and placed the displays there as a joke.

4. stock person just put them randomly in an aisle with no thought to surrounding merchandise.

5. there is a level of discomfort with feminine hygiene products and they wanted to hide them.

6. foreshadowing: Tampax will be coming out with NFL branded tampons (Team Tampax?) and this is a pre-launch teaser.

Protesting SOPA/PIPA

Credit: sopastrike.com

Wednesday, January 18, 2012 if you sign onto this blog you will find that I am joining sites all over the internet to protest this bill coming up in the Senate next week, S.968: the Protect IP Act (PIPA). this is an attempt to let U.S. lawmakers know how much opposition there is.

You will also find that I am in some pretty heavy hitting company. Wikipedia, Google, WordPress, Reddit, to name a few. There are many sites rumored to be participating, so don’t get frustrated when you sign onto the net tomorrow and find these blackouts.

While I am in full support of the protection of intellectual property, I fear this legislation has gone too far. I support a government that is willing to collaborate with internet thought leaders and innovators to reach a solution that makes sense for all parties.

This is grassroots organizing at its finest. I, as many others, worry that those who are voting on this legislation are thinking they are doing so with good intent to protect intellectual property, but have little understanding of the ramifications of their actions.

This video does a good job of explaining things. And this post from Mashable  outlines who the confirmed supporters are. This NYT front page article  is what I consider fair and balanced mainstream media coverage of the issue.

I urge you to take a little time to familiarize yourself with the issue and try to get a grasp on the ramifications. If you agree, please join the official strike here.

Thanks and I promise to come back and be funny on Thursday.

Baby and Toddler 4 Sale

Well, well, well… it would appear that what we have here is s family that has a 2 for one thing going on. Could they actually be selling both their baby and their toddler at one sale.

I would suppose every family reaches that moment in time when the kids have gotten on their last nerve and the only solution they can think of is to… sell them?

Yikes.

Well, at least they are getting rid of the computers and the household items, too. It looks like it is probably one of those purging type sales. And if you take the 2 kids you will probably want the other stuff to take care of them.

Best License Plate Ever

It has finally happened. Someone has sent me the absolute best license plate ever. And who better to do it than a friend from elementary school. The idea of her running through a parking lot to get this shot while her son looked on like she was crazy does my heart good. It makes me happy to know my kids are not the only ones who think their mother is nuts.

What do you think would be the chance that I could track this person down and they would transfer these plates to me?

You know, so Gary can put them on his car.